First and foremost, I don't know why I chose that title other than to say I feel helpless. (Although now that I read it again-it would make a sweet poem title I think.) I have also come to accept the fact that I only will write in this when I am at an emotional low, occasionally a highpoint will work its way in here, but not usually.

At any rate. I feel helpless. The person I love most in this world is suffering, and following standard plot line number 23, I can't do anything about it. Not only does it suck because I am unable to ease his pain and worry in this situation, but it's elevating my stress level as well. I can't focus when he's down, so I end up here. I worry too much.

He is in trouble for something dumb. He moved a backpack, and so the kid threatened to shoot him. Maybe it's the fact that there is blond hair at my roots and I am missing something, but I really just do not get it. Practical joke or not, that is a harmless act and the kid needs to settle the fuck down NOW. Not to mention, if I were that kid's parents... his ass would be 6 feet under, not the teacher's. What is wrong with these people?

Now he might get fired? None of this makes any sense and I feel like I'm caught in the middle of a loony bin. My first instinct is to tell him to just quit and get the hell out of there, but he won't. That's not like him, and that's good. BUT. They have already brought him down enough... this is just arsenic icing on a rotten cake. He is too good for them... he has fresh ideas, and drive. They are stale. From what he has told me it seems as though it's like he is curry seasoning someone brought to a pancake breakfast--out of place. I'm afraid they're ruining him, and if they do, I... well I don't even know how to describe how angry I will be. UPROAR. That's all I got.

I worry for him because I know he will worry too much... but we both suffer from that ailment so I'm at a loss. I just want him to come out of this with his spirit unscathed... I do not want them or this school to destroy his love of teaching because then less lives will be changed for the better.

Here's hoping.

Later days, more sensible schools.