Okay, so I officially had THE most fucked up dream in all of dreamdom. I am very disturbed by it, but I HAVE to write it down because of its weirdness.

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I found myself at the top of a hill that lead down into a forest valley that was completely surrounded by cliffs. The only safe entrance was where we all stood. There was a mass of us who had gathered there--traveling by bus and on foot for the epic competition. People seemed lighthearted and cheery, and I could not understand why. Did they not know the danger this valley holds? The contestants didn't realize that their life was on the line, and even as I tried to warn them, they wouldn't take me seriously. Orcs are vicious creatures, and the mere sight of them could scare you stiff.

Time came for the competition to begin. The first trio up was Alyse and her two partners... only something was wrong... seriously wrong. They had no weapons and I didn't understand why... but it was too late to do anything now. They made their way slowly down the hill, only to be met by the entire Orc army. The crowd cried out as we watched them die. I screamed with all my lung power for Alyse and tears rolled down my face.

Now pissed off at the death of my dear friend, I attempted to warn the other contestants. "I've done this twice before!" I said. "Trust me! These Orcs are vicious!" But it was too late to turn back. The dwarf wizards had sealed us in. The Great Contest had begun and no one could leave until it was finished. Parents grieved as they sent their children in three at a time to the slaughter. My own mother was there, though I was not competing. She stepped too close to the fence, and one of the Orcs pulled her through. Seconds later she was headless.

As I screamed, someone put a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see, and it was none other than Alyse. "Wha-how?!" I babbled. "I used my magic nature powers and escaped," she replied. I wasn't quite sure what this meant but I ran with it because hell, Alyse was back. Somehow magically, my mom would later return as well. My spirit was rallied and the crowd soon followed. "Fuck this!" was our unanimous cry. We were going to bust out.

We began to pile into our buses, and together broke through the dwarf wizards' barrier. We made our way through the forest, but the wizards--realizing that the Great Contest was not finished--set the Orcs after us. We knew now this was the moment of battle for all of us. We had barricaded ourselves one one side of the canyon, and the Orcs were scaling the walls. We managed to beat them down on our side, but they had begun to stake claim on the other. Shortly after they were hitting us with machine gun bursts, and we were defenseless, save our cement highway barricades. Some of us held up pictures during the bursts, to trick the Orcs into thinking that they were killing us. The battle seemed like it would never end.

Finally, somehow, it did. We had defeated the Orc army. Every last one lie on the ground. How we had accomplished this unarmed is beyond me, but perhaps it had something to do with magic nature powers. People piled back into their buses and returned from whence they came. I lingered in awe of it all, and came across the dwarf wizards. "What happened?" I asked them. Their reply was: "The Great Competition was held because the Orcs were occupying the lake and we needed it." I was outraged. "YOU KILLED EVERYONE FOR A FUCKING LAKE?!" I screamed, but they had already begun to rebuild the forest.

They took the scattered bodies and laid them in the earth--Orcs and men alike. Slowly their faces faded over and turned to wood. Trees began to sprout from their bodies. One of the dwarf wizards spotted a small wisp floating in the air and immediately alerted the others. "Look!" he exclaimed in his elderly dwarfish voice. "The forest is re-pollinating itself. Regrowth is eminent." The other dwarf wizards rejoiced, and I turned to join the rest of my comrades on the journey home.

The end.

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HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT? This is coming from someone who does not remember her dreams. Ever. I am beyond myself with confusion and also laughing at how ridiculous that dream was. Orcs, machine guns, magic nature powers, decapitation of my mother, forests re-pollinating. Seriously. I HAD to write this down. It was far too epic.

Later days, dead Orcs.