I'm dizzy from all this spinning... So, up, around, around, around... Amazing what a minute can do. ~ Dave Matthews

Wow... first time today I've been home for an extended period of time... aka more than 30 min. (That's the reasoning for the lyrics up above.) Here's what I did: Got up early, went kickboxing... my body was about ready to shoot me... I'm sure if bodies could talk, it would have said "Taylor! What the hell do you think you're doing to me.... I'm f-ing tired man! Lay off me!" or something... after kickboxing I went straight to work and put books away for 4 hours... which doesn't sound like a lot of work, but you'd be surprised how tiring it is to try and stay focused. Apres ca, I went across the street to baby sit the neighbor boy Isaiah, who just might be the cutest kid ever, while his mom went and got a tattoo. Pretty bomb... then I was home for a bit finally and watched some Dave DVDs with my mom... and danced around the house like a maniac, but we'll just leave that part to your imaginations. Then I went over to Tyler's. We played catch, listened to music, Ben came over for a bit... followed by Nic and Kelli. The night ended really well... and I needed it bad. Really bad. The start of the day sucked ass.

I kind of got in an argument with Ty about some stuff... I'm not honestly even quite sure what the hell happened. I don't know why he was so angry... and I don't even want to go into how shitty my week was, but he was appologizing to me for that whole thing because he said he felt like he should have done something more to make it better... but I don't think he understood that it wasn't him, and there was nothing he could do to make it better for me. It was a personal struggle... and yeah, he underestimates himself a lot and it frustrated me. I tweaked on him, but I guess I don't feel as bad as I should because frankly he really pisses me off when he undermines himself... and now, thanks to whatever the hell is going on... I have this to look forward to:

Tay258: so did you have a late night last night or somethin?
AirForceChic001: uh... yea, i was talkin to tyler for 2 horus
Tay258: haha daaaaamn
AirForceChic001: yea, i know... i was gonna bring u the convo today, but i didnt have time... it was one i thought u should read
Tay258: whys that?
AirForceChic001: and i think you and i shoudl have a chat
Tay258: about what?
AirForceChic001: meh... we'll tal abotu it later... dont wanna get into it
Tay258: so just give me a brief description and i will promise to ask no more questions
AirForceChic001: uh...how to make ur guys' relationship better
AirForceChic001: i think it was all for the good
AirForceChic001: i kinda got his point of view on things
AirForceChic001: and i also told him some things about you
AirForceChic001: that he needs to change
AirForceChic001: i think you both can work on some things

Keep in mind, I went into that conversation knowing full well that Kelli was already planning to "chat with me..." and now, I'm just even more fucking pissed. WHAT THE HELL? First off... are Tyler and I incapable of discussing our own relationship for ourselves? Secondly... why does Kelli feel the need to do that for us? I don't fucking care what she thinks about me, or Tyler, or our relationship together. I didn't even know anything was wrong with us... what the fuck is so bad?!!? So this means I'm either really fucking out of it, crazy and a horrible girlfriend... or something in this ordeal is fucked up. I'm not fucking going to read that convo... if Tyler wants me to know something, he can tell me himself. AHHH! FUCKING A!

AirForceChic001: it's abotu communication, he feels like you keep things from him

ASHDASKHDASFD! And that is what I think about that. The Motherfucking End Bitches. Is it so wrong to not feel like talking? Is it so bad to just not say something when you don't have the words together to say it right? I DON'T FUCKING HIDE ANYTHING FROM HIM! Anything major... he knows. So I don't possibly know how he can feel that way. I'm just quiet. What the hell is wrong with not being talkative?! Someone... please enlighten me. And plus... anything Tyler want's me to know, he can certainly tell me himself. After all... communication makes the relationship!

AirForceChic001: about having a posesive bf, and how it makes you not want to tell them thigns

She really shouldn't fucking speak for me since she has no idea what the hell she's talking about.

Wow... all of that was incredibly bitchy, but now I'm just pissed off again. Why did the night have to end like this? It's just not fair. I hate being this angry... not really even knowing what the fighting is for. It's like fucking WWI all over again...

Watchout for trenchfoot.


Edit: For some reason, hearing the song "Beauty and the Beast" blaring in from the other room(you know the one that's played at the end of the Disney movie while they're happy and dancing in the ballroom...) made me feel a lot better. I'm just weird up like that.